- Its beautiful and its pure
I never realized how much I could grow to love in just a few short months.. how powerful it be in every aspect. How it would grow and evolve…
A man message me one day…. race and names aren’t important … It was attractive, exciting and very sexy.. he had an ability to say just the perfect thing to me.. not a perfect comment as a sweet error… just a perfect thing that spoke to me.. my own perfection..
I thought at first he just want a cyber fun (which I dont entertain)... so I avoid him.. that there was a little substance behind actions.. but I quickly grew to realized that there was a depth on this man.. a surprising kindness, a vulnerability, often masked, but I saw cracks.. I saw a man a very long, and a very hard, and often unfulfilling life.. one who yearned for something more but never believe he’d really got it…
Life isn’t fairytale after all… this aren’t things he told me. . These are my own observations.. i cant speak for him, only for me..
I made decision. I struggle with it at first. I also fear rejections, betrayal, unacceptance… I also have a past but mine has forged on me an ability to see into others, to be able to read their needs and be that for them.. I desire to want to help heal when I see the pain.. it wasn’t completely altruistic.. I am very attracted to him.. I desired him a great deal …and decision to love him is not lightly made..
However, It is set in stone… I will love him, unconditionally.. not a selfish love that demands.. a selfish love that accepts, shares, heals, leads by example rather than words.. will be an unconditional soft spot, a place to fall back, a place free of judgment and guilt..
I didn’t do it for pity if you knew him, he is not to be pitied… he is an exceptional man in so many ways… it just this one thing he lacked
I love this man and I want to give him what he desperately needed in life, and I wanted him to give it to me as well…
It wrapped around me his love. even as I wrapped around him.. I didn’t try to change his everyday behavior.. I just showed him possibilities.. a hope.. a truth.. and let that teach him what it would…
In return I watched this man grow, become shapeshift into something so much more beautiful than he was before… stronger..more whole…
Sure there was ups and down.. his past , my past, those ghost, remember hunny?? How they whisper and swirl around as always, even as we politely asked them to leave. Scream for them go… whimper for them to leave us be… but there was so much beauty than ever there was pain..every moment enjoyed.. every minute is precious…
Hope my heart with our combined strength could defeat this demons.. I thought for sure we could.. hope that there is enough love and desire to do so… we are human. We are weak .. sometime we choose the easy path for us just because we grow weary… but we need to be strong and believe in our self and our love…
He is fun, beautiful, sweet, playful and loving.. it is all I can asked for to be…
I love you and I never regret the moment I meet you and I have you…. Your so especial that I would wrap myself around you and whisper truly from the depths of my soul how much I truly love you….
Its short time you’ve gone from me, my heart aches as if it will never heal, my throat clogs with a thousand of tears to shed and unshed..my stomach clenches and sickening everytime Im longing for you and desired you…wish you were just here.. always here beside me..
Happy Anniversary my LOVE!! cheers !!
- We love you so freakin' much Hun and we missed you so Much!!
- ~~Rhen ,Reggie,Aliyah,Akira~~
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